Not my first act.
Not my last.

I got married in my early thirties, thoroughly and with intention, to a person I loved. Twelve years later, gently and less gently, that marriage ended. This site is what I started writing on the other side of it — a way to make sense of the vocabulary I was suddenly expected to know: swipe, ghost, situationship, co-parent, ex.

Not My Match is a collection of essays about being newly single at an age where being single feels novel again. It is about apps, and playlists, and the strange archaeology of a first date at forty-something. It is not a dating advice column. It is closer to a field notebook — half memoir, half dispatch — kept in the passenger seat of a life I did not exactly plan.

I write these essays roughly once a month. Eventually they will become a book, which I am working on quietly, without a title yet, without deadlines. If you'd like to know when the next essay lands — or when the book has news — subscribe below.

Thank you for reading. It's a strange gift to have you here.